LENNY
Me. I was just stallin'. You
always have a plan. Ah, what's
your plan?
Marshall gives Lenny a push to the head with the heel of his
hand.
LENNY
Don't call me a gnat brain ... you
... you ... you ...
He's stumped. Can't think of anything smaller so he gives
Marshall a push back to the head with the heel of his hand.
They go into a flurry of heel of the hand to the head until --
There's a sudden SCREECH of OS brakes.
ANGLE ON a large DILAPIDATED BUS that has stopped next to the
side of the road. The top of it is piled high with battered,
duffel bags.
A sloppy, hand-painted sign has been scribbled on the side of
the bus. BENNY'S GREAT-RATE HOLLYWOD (yes, it's misspelled)
TOURS. YOU WON'T FIND A BETTER DEAL IN NEVADA. Somebody has
scratched red slashes through the GRE and the T in GREAT and
the E in RATE so it reads more like BENNY'S A RAT HOLLYWOD
TOURS.
CLOSER ON BENNY, a sleazy-looking human with an aura that is
indeed rat-like. He wears a shabby bus driver's hat and
stands next to the open bus door. GRUBBY-LOOKING PEOPLE
frantically pour out of the bus in a glob. They are all
overweight.
BENNY
Ya better squeeze it all out cuz
this is your last pee stop til' we
hit Hollywood!
page 6.
ZIP PAN over to see the backs of the many men as they all
pee under a big tree. The women's heads bob up from behind
the bushes they are squatting behind.
ANGLE ON Lenny and Marshall as they crawl up one of the rear
tires of the bus.
LENNY
What's this Hollywood?
MARSHALL
It's a place in California. The
pivitol point of movie making.
The home of movie stars. The ---
LENNY
Okay! Okay!
(a beat)
How do you know all that kind of
stuff?
MARSHALL
I don't know. I just do.
They reach the top of the tire and jump over to the nearest
thing --- which happens to be the muffler.
They both go into a WILD DANCE.
MARSHALL/LENNY (UNISON)
Hot!hot!hot!hot!hot!hot!hot!hot!
They dive for the next nearest thing which is the curved,
grease-covered suspension spring. They slide down it and
SLAM into a cob-web covered series of bolts that hold the
spring to the bus.
Lenny and Marshall are a dirty, greasy, cob-web covered mess.
LENNY
Mannnnnnnnn! This is your plan?
MARSHALL
Hey! It beats crawling doesn't it!
The OS bus engine suddenly COUGHS TO LIFE in a BLAST of black
smoke and the bus ROARS out in a cloud of flying dirt and
gravel.
ANOTHER ANGLE as the cloud of dust clears. We see the worms
are now two globs of grease and dirt with occasional chunks
of gravel stuck to them. The only indication that they are
anything but globs is when they open their white eyes.
page 7.
A near-by, larger glob POPS its huge eyes open. They are a
devilish glare. The thing stands up, shakes off the grime,
and we see it's a LARGE SPIDER.
SPIDER
Oughhh. My favorite. Dinner on the
road.
The spider grabs Lenny and holds him up close to his ugly
face. Lenny raises both arms above his head and sticks his
fingers in the spider's eyes like one of The Three Stooges
routines.
SPIDER
(continuing; screams)
Ow! Ow! Ow! That really hurt!
Lenny grabs the spider by his neck and pulls him nose-to-nose
close.
LENNY
(tough)
I ain't no spider's dinner.
Marshall leans in close to join Lenny.
MARSHALL
(tough)
And I'm not dessert.
As the spider's eyes clear up, he notices that the worms have
arms.
SPIDER
(dismayed)
Holy crap! Worms with arms? I
don't believe it!
The two worms move in closer and take an even tougher stance.
LENNY
(tough)
Whatta ya mean by that? You some
kind of wise-guy-spider!
MARSHALL
(tough)
Are you insulting us?
SPIDER
(still in shock)
No! No! No! Not at all! I just
never saw no worms with arms
before!
page 8.
LENNY
Yeah! Well we never saw no spider
that could take us.
SPIDER
Yeah. I can believe that. Worms
are always easy. They don't have
arms to fight back with!
MARSHALL
Are you being insulting again?
SPIDER
I'm tellin' the truth! I ain't
never seen no worms with arms
before.
Lenny and Marshall look at each other, shrug, and let the
spider go. He can't get away fast enough.
LENNY
Ahhh, he's been suckin' in too
much road dust. He's nuts.
CLOSER ON the two worms as they lean back and make themselves
comfortable.
LENNY
(continuing)
Let's get us some shuteye.
ANGLE ON the bus as it bounces down the highway and out of
sight over the distant hill.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT: HOLLYWOOD AND VINE - DAY
The boulevard is CHEAP-SLEAZY. Heavy metal and 60's hippie
types crowd the sidewalks. Drunks and bums are begging.
Benny's shabby bus is unloading its passengers. The men all
wear white pants, Hawaiian shirts, sunglasses and each has
many cameras slung around his neck. The women are wearing
flat, oversized straw hats, tight leopard tie-across blouses,
toreador pants, and high wedgy heels. Their clothes are
several sizes too small for their fat bodies.
